Anton quickly became my
surrogate parent. I would call him whenever I needed help or advice such as
when I broke a heel on the way to a casting meeting in the middle of Paris in the rain. I frantically called him and he calmly gave me directions
to the nearest shoe store so I could replace my heels. He also told me exactly
the type of heel to pick out in the store. A simple black sleek heel with no
embellishments and he gently reminded me to straighten my ponytail in case the
rain had made me lose my composure.
Anton moved from New York to
San Francisco to take care of his dying partner, Will, whose last wish was to
die in his hometown of San Francisco. Next Model Agency was sympathetic since
he was such a high producing agent so they allowed him to open a San Francisco
branch while he took care of Will. A couple of years later, Will died of
esophageal cancer with the love and gentleness of Anton by his side. Anton
stayed in San Francisco and decided it was his only home, even though he was
originally from Marseille, but San Francisco contained happy memories of Will
on every street corner. Like me, even after traveling the world and
experiencing cities even more exciting and beautiful than San Francisco, this place
of hills and fog would always be home.
I realized after a couple of
years of traveling from one fashion week to another that I was getting old and
that modeling was not going to be a life long career for me, It was a weird
thought for someone in their early twenties to have, but that’s the fashion industry. I
didn't want to be part of a story anymore, but I wanted to tell a story. Anton
had a whole pitch to sell me to designers saying that I was the new Christy
Turlington. I am definitely not Christy Turlington because no one can be as
magnificent as her. I had a passing similarity to her and our backgrounds were similar, bu I was darker skinned with an olive tone and had dark
eyes and curly hair.
Also, I had a nagging feeling that I was
slightly off target in my career aspirations. I enjoyed fashion, but not just
as a mannequin but I wanted to express myself. On the weekends, while stuck in
a hotel room waiting in my room for my next flight I would rip t-shirts and
dresses and design a new outfit. I’d wear these improvised outfits before a
show and some of the other models would comment that it was really cool, or I would be
snapped by a fashion blogger and posted on a blog and get lots of positive
feedback. The one place I always felt the most comfortable was at fittings in a
designers studio. Each studio was different but the creative discussion of each
stitch and how it should fall on a model was always something I looked forward to in fittings. Once during a fitting at Suno, a
funky design studio inspired by African textiles I was so interested in asking about
the prints and touching the fabric instead of standing still while they took my
measurements. The designer was so upset that I wasn't focused on staying in one
place for my fitting that he dropped me from the show. That’s when I
decided that I needed to study fashion design and quit modeling.
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